It has come to my attention… well, okay, let’s say that I’ve been aware for some time that I can be very bad at relaxing. Which seems like an odd thing to say, because whilst I’m perfectly content to sit and binge watch some show, or read far too much in the way of my delightful RSS feeds, if I’ve not achieved what I consider ‘enough’ with any given day / week / month, I get very frustrated with myself.
And let’s add to that the requirement that I feel I must manage at least all of the following in any given chunk of time:
– Work (kinda required to keep eating and heating on)
– Finishing decorating the house
– Writing (creatively)
– Practicing some form of instrument
– At least a bit of exercise
On top of which I add in all the domestic goddess stuff* (ha!)
So… today I:
– Prepped and painted more trim
– Hoovered & dusted the lounge, guest room, hall, stairs, and kitchen floor.
– Went out and got bread/coffee**.
– Wrote a chunk of a post for Transport Evolved
– Did some (small) bit of exercise
And yet, come the evening, after we’ve watched a film together, I feel like I should be doing something work wise. I mean, clearly I should be… writing. Or playing the piano. Or practicing the guitar.
Which makes me feel guilty that I’m not.
And that makes me feel bad about doing these things, that as it happens, when I’m not pressuring myself into it, I actually enjoy.
Feh.
* Well, okay, just my half of keeping the house tidy…
** Which involves crossing the city centre, thus takes much longer than many would consider reasonable to get bread and coffee, but frankly if the bread’s not from either Harts, East Street Bakery, or Mark’s Bread then it’s not really very nice, and if the coffee’s not from Two Day or FCP, then really, what’s the point. Yes, I am aware I’ve turned into a total bread and coffee snob, but we don’t have loads of money to chuck around and these are two luxuries we can actually afford.
