actual time traveler appears on the white house lawn: *exits time-ship, removes time-helmet* Yes hello I am a non-white person from three thousand years in the future. Look at my glorious future melanin. Look how it glows. Look how brown I am.
hollywood executive: my god this is the important event in human history thus far
hollywood executive: we need to make a movie out of this
hollywood executive: get me benedict cumberbatch’s agent