“I want” doesn’t get….

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I just watched Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. I’ve been in two minds (heh) about watching it, I first saw it with Trey and the whole… watching things which are connected with ex-partners; well; it’s not always… easy. Took me a very long time to watch Pi after I split up with Donna – and we were only together weeks! Yeah, I know I’m pathetic.

Anyway, so I watched it tonight. Curled up with my glass of coke…

It’s got that famous Eloisa to Abelard quote (by Alexander Pope):

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;

It’s funny, because no matter how lousy I’ve felt, I’ve never wanted to erase my relationships; for the most part I’ve learned a lot about myself from them. And about other people; and actually, I enjoy the memories. I mean, not right now, because it’s all a bit raw – but… Losing the memories of my relationships; I’d…

…anyway, I dunno. I just watched it again, it’s only the second time I’ve seen it (I think ;-) ), and I still think it’s an incredibly well shot film. I’m not that big on big actor / big budget stuff; well, sometimes I am, but I am very impressed by Eternal Sunshine…

I had a point when I started this.

Something about no matter how cruddy I feel today; and I do; and I suspect the next couple if days are going to get worse, peaking on Tuesday with Valentines / Hallmark day. But I know that I can look back at my relationships; and memories; and they’re good y’know.

You know the phrase ‘lost the plot’? That’s me.

I had a point when I started this thing.

Bugger.

So, today is Sunday; yes? Sunday. This is frustrating, because not only did I spend money I shouldn’t have on presents to cheer myself up at Valentines; but it turns out that yes, I got my sums wrong this month (yes, again), and I’ve ended up overdrawn again. Actually, the money I spent was on the credit card, so it didn’t really matter (well, affect that). I do however need to book a shift or two tomorrow. Yes. Definately.

Now I’ve got some off duty. A couple of shifts would be a good plan.

Ooooh, look. Stream of conciousness time.

In which case, I’ll share this link: linky linky – it’s a torrent site with ‘legal’ torrents on it, apparently. Anyway, some of the music on there is incredible. So, yes, go follow the linky linky. What was I doing there? Well, for reasons which may at some point become apparent, I was after some Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka music.

Frack, how’d it get to be quarter to 11? I was going to practice the guitar once I’d done an entry. I guess that’s not happening today then. Never mind. Bed, I think.

KateWE

Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.