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08/16/2002 Archived Entry: “0021”
So, it’s true what they say. Hire vans do go faster.
That’s today’s humour. I wouldn’t ask for any more, because there isn’t any more. I spent the day moving Jasmine and Lauren out, into their new place. And yesterday I spent down at Lauren’s parents place – having driven down in a hideous van.
Well, not hideous. Just slow and noisy, and third gear and the windscreen washers didn’t work properly. Never mind. I’m really terrified about one of my friends. She had a *really* bad day – and she disappeared off line earlier – and I don’t know if she’s okay. She probably doesn’t realise quite how much I care about her. But I do care about her an enormous amount, and I worry about her more because she lives in a different country – so I can’t pelt over there hell-for-leather like I’ve been known to do with some of my other friends. If I had the money I’d get her over here, and offer her a place to stay until she found a job. And yes I mean that. It’s not idle comment.
Not that in my current mood I’d be much help. I really need a job. Really, really. Really now really. I want some space of my own that I can control. And out in the country side. I need countryside. Or at least something approaching countryside. I dunno.
shit, I’m crying and I don’t even know why.
Okay. Under control again.
I really need this job. I feel so incredibly worthless at the moment. I can’t seem to make people happy, I can’t give them what they want, and I can’t give them what I want.
I’m frustrated by my failings, as usual. It doesn’t help that I’m in the middle of changing my hormone dose. Which is fucking with everything in my brain.
Sigh. Bed. Fuckit.
