24th October 2001, 13:45.
Bugger….: I AM 60% GEEK.
Nerd, Freak, Geek, Dweeb. Sound familiar?
That’s okay, cause I will be the richest
person at my 15th year high-school reunion.
If a “con” isn’t happening that weekend.
Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!
Nuts, I didn’t think I’d come out that high….
Anyway, stuff.
Sorry, this might be a bit disjointed, I’ve got evil moodswings going on at
the moment, and it’s driving me up the wall.
I’m also a bit chilly, I should probably get a jumper, but I can’t be arsed
right now. Half my clothes are in the wash….
Bah, I’ve got so much to do in the next few days. I want to put the top-box
back on my bike so Mikes welding it back together….I dunno how long it’ll
last, and it’s going to look as ropey as hell, but never mind….
*sigh* I wish I’d not fucked up that bike test.
I don’t even know what I did wrong, apart from be too quick, maybe, when I
did my stop on the emergency stop. I don’t know. *sigh*
3 f*cking minor faults, I’ll never be that good on the test again. That’s if
I make it to the next test, and don’t wrap the bike around a tree traveling up
the A38 in midwinter. Well. We’ll see.
I don’t really know what I’m saying here, there’s so much stuff going on in
my head. I don’t seem to be able to hold a thought at all.
Anyway, when I got back from home I did a quick bit of shopping to get some
odds and sods for the op. Basically, clothes which aren’t disintegrating,
particularly knickers which aren’t disintegrating. So, now I’ve got clothes at
least, clothes and a portable CD player. I need a little CD holdery-thing, which
I’ll probably go and get this weekend.
I’ve been adding to the about me section. Just a bit. A couple of photos.
Well, three. I saved the one of my dad sunbathing with a pyramid on his nose for
myself. I’ve not saved this one though: here which is in fact the first
and only pack of condoms I’ve had. It was given to me, just before my
16th birthday, with a talk about safe sex. It’s sat in my draw in Hemel, in
Eastbury, in Birmingham….and timed out, because not being physically *capable*
of having sex, well, not in the traditional sense (I guess there are various
forms of
sex which I could have been involved in….). But anyway, yes, they timed out,
and I located them in my draw, where they’re still sat….
Anyway, it amused me slightly. These people saying “take care when you’re
having sex”….
I keep thinking I ought to at least have some doubts in my mind. I always
have some doubts in my mind about things, but I just don’t. What about? The
surgery of course. I know it’s what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted,
well, no that’s not strictly true, it’s what I’ve always wanted since I grasped
that I could have it. I mean, I’d prefer to be a completely functional female,
but this is the nearest I’m going to get so it’ll have to do.
Of course it hurts that I’m not going to have kids, although my experiences
with John just proved what I thought, I’m not really a kid person, I don’t
really know what to do/say with babies. The only thing which bothers me at all
is the actual fact that I’m going in to have surgery – particularly with such a
long run of bad luck preceding it.
But, well, I’ll just have to see how it comes out.
And hope that it’s okay.
I’ve not talked about my dad much in this one, you may have noticed. This is
because there’s currently not much to say. They’re going to try a procedure to
make him more comfortable, and then it’s all down to holistic medicine, really.
They don’t think the chemotherapy’s going to do much for him.
Just kind of slow the cancer down a bit.
*sigh*
But he’s a strong bloke, and I *hope* his immune system will manage to push
this into remission, with a bit of help.
Anyway, this is my dad, here. Well,
it’s my mum and my dad…..You know, until yesterday I didn’t know that photo
even existed…
anyway.
—
Kate E