“Helmsman of the USS Enterprise, Hikaru Sulu, played by John Cho, is shown in Star Trek Beyond as the loving father of a daughter with a same sex partner. And in typical trailblazing Trek fashion — it’s just not a big deal.
Cho visited Sydney to promote the third movie in the franchise successfully rebooted by JJ Abrams in 2009, along with cast mates Chris Pine (Captain Kirk), Zachary Quinto (Spock), Karl Urban (Dr McCoy) and director Justin Lin. He said the decision by writer Simon Pegg and Lin to make Sulu gay was a nod to George Takei, who played the character in the original 1960s series, and was a sign of what he hoped were changing times.”
I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.
In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place. They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm. She preferred them to chickens. At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (Or as I call them, “hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area. Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own.
Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate.
Like this.^ And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s traumatizing to you and deeply hilarious to your parents.
Anyway.
The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets. The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it. Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it. The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively. Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.
1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened. 2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks) 3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en mass. 4.) Chaos ensued. The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair. Or cheer them on, whichever. 6.) NOISE 7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by the geese is to shit explosively all over the sidewalks. Never in the grass. 8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise. 9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats. 10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled on the tracks by the flamingo pond due to battling birds. The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram. Adults were doing the duck and cover. So were the ducks. Small children were screaming, adding to the noise. People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos. 11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food. 12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond. Cue slow-motion. 13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice. The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled. 15.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes. Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird. One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds. Several children were traumatized, probably for life. The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos.
The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese.
During the first half of the 20th century, policewomen in America often worked undercover, on so-called “women’s beats.” “They are called upon regularly to trail or trap mashers, shoplifters, pickpockets and fortune-tellers; to impersonate drug addicts and hardened convicts, to expose criminal medical practice, find lost persons, guide girls in trouble, break up fake matrimonial bureaus and perform special detective duty,” wrote the New York Times.
For most of her career, Mary would be assigned to the NYPD pickpocket squad. By the time of her retirement in 1957, she would be a first grade detective, with over 1,000 arrests under her belt.
Sometimes, the policewoman would take her niece to work with her: “I would be a decoy for her. She didn’t look like a detective looking for a pickpocket, she was a mother out with her daughter.”
Why isn’t this a TV show that’s in my eyeballs RIGHT NOW?
Why do people never want to tell you their middle name like who gives a shit its not a nuclear launch code its your damn name
reblog with your middle name in the tags
Actually, the practice dates back to the reason we have middle names in the first place!
Some time around the dark ages, everyone believed in witchcraft and wizardry, like ya do. A big principle of magic was the idea of “true names.” If a spellcaster knew your full name, they could do whatever the hell they wanted to you. Of course, people didn’t want that, but there were enough people with the same first names that you had to give people your surname as well, to avoid confusion.
The solution? A secret name in the middle that you don’t tell anyone (unless you believe that they’re not able to do magic and/or you trust them enough that if they DID do magic, you’d be fine).
Also like I remember back before I changed my name when I came out… My middle name was Hamilton and it was super embarrassing! Like a I feel like there’s a good chunk of people with lame middle names and just don’t want to be teased
Fortunately my mum worked out a solution to this. No one can pronounce it, so even if they find out the spelling their spells will be weakened by mispronunciation….
Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN.
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring.
@zukana13731 If you mean one rock containing multiple colors, then no, they don’t. But as i said, sapphires come in every color of the rainbow (except red*) so if you wanted a ring with a rainbow of several different smaller stones, that’s totally doable. It’s just that each color would have to be a separate stone.
BTW There is ONE sort-of way to tell a white sapphire from a diamond with the naked eye but it is educated guesswork at best. One of the things that make diamonds so pretty is their light refraction, or “fire”. That’s what causes all the beautiful prisms and internal colors you see inside them. Sapphires do not refract light in the same way, so with a well-cut sapphire you’ll get a lot of sparkle, but you won’t get the same kind of fire. OTOH, fire also depends on the mineral quality of the diamond in question AND how skilfully it was cut. So if you see a sparkly white rock and you’re not sure whether it’s a diamond or not, you can *GUESS* by looking for the prismatic effect inside it (or if your bitchy frenemy has a GIANT HONKING ROCK on her hand and she’s claiiiiiiiiiming it’s a diamond but you’re suspicious because she’s That Sort Of Person… look for the fire. No fire, she’s either lying about it being a diamond, or it’s a really shitty diamond.) Buttttttttttt like I said, it’s not reliable. If you aren’t sure, take it to a Jared’s and ask them to diamond test it for you – they’ve got these nifty little gadgets with a copper tip, they can tell you for free in literally 3 seconds whether or not it’s real, and they’ll do it for free. And they’ll clean your jewelry for free if you let them show you around the store and attempt to sell you something. It’s nice to let them have their little hopes and dreams :)
(PS tho if you’re going to buy jewelry, I really do stand by the Jared “extended service” warranty. It’s great value – free repairs forever, unlimited ring resizing, etc etc. It’s worth it! They also do custom design work.)
——- *sapphires don’t come in red. Why? Well, do you know what we call a red sapphire? A ruby! Rubies and sapphires are the same mineral, carborundum!
Um guys, its very easy to tell a white sapphire from a diamond, and they dirty very quickly- white sapphire ring set in silver will tarnish and get foggy quickly. whereas a diamond (a good quality one, that sparkles) does not, and the gold its laid in will also have more longevity than any silver. You don’t need to spend thousand of dollars for a nice diamond, and there are hundreds of jewelers out there. shop around. do your homework. AND FOR THE LOVE THAT IS ALL THINGS SHINEY- SEE IT IN PERSON!!!
In addition, if you buy a white sapphire, and tell your partner its a diamond. she/he will kill you the first time they go to get it cleaned. Seriously, don’t lie to your partner. I’ve had to deal with that at the store- its never pretty
“Get foggy”???? How? Sapphires aren’t porous. It’ll take dirt at the same rate that diamonds do, but it’s never going to change its color or clarity.
“silver will tarnish” yep, and it’ll polish right back up again. Five minutes with a silver-polishing cloth is all it takes. Besides, if you REALLY want it bright and shiny you can get a rhodium plating. It’ll keep the tarnish off for longer. Jared’s does rhodium plating for $50 a pop (but it’s free forever if you bought the band from Jared’s and got the extended service plan). And if you DIDN’T, they’ll still polish and clean your jewelry for free (while you look around the store and pretend to be willing to buy something).
Gold is a little more durable than silver, that’s true, but not significantly.
But yes, if you tell your partner that a white sapphire is a diamond, both @batmanbandaid and I will come for you in the night and throw you off a bridge :D Don’t be that sort of asshole. (I once had a boyfriend try to tell me that a sterling silver bracelet was platinum. Awwwww honey, u tried)
I’ve got a pink sapphire engagement ring framed by a row of diamonds on either side. That thing has been swimming with me in the ocean, lodged inside a vending machine (don’t ask) and generally attached to my person 24/7 since the day it was put on my finger. The only thing that looks a little worn about the ring is the white gold band which needs a professional polish after 6 years of continuous wear. And sure the stone can get a little dirty, but five minutes with some dish soap and an old soft toothbrush and that damn thing glitters.
My husband’s silver wedding band which cost us about $50 to have made because it was silver? It’s a little nicked here and there but he went with a matte finish so it’s not all that noticeable. From a distance it looks as shiny and new as it did the day I liked it so much I put a ring on it.
The value of diamonds are the great conspiracy, thought up by diamond companies prior to the 1940s. They are in actual fact, very common stones and not all that expensive. It’s all about marketing. (link to youtube)
