Category: Tumblr crossposts

ramonajp:

Have fun caucusing today, my Washingtonian friends! I endorsed Hillary, but I know y’all are voting for Bernie…and that’s cool. Either one will get WA’s Electoral College votes in November, since my home state is blue-er than the Seahawks’ home unis. :)

greatmageclintbarton:

agent-natasha:

fryadvocate:

terrasigillata:

trixter:

twotone:

catwinchester:

thesnadger:

davidfosterflawless:

grimmnir:

Public Service Announcement:  If you are not a virgin do not presume to wear a white wedding dress.  It is an honor that is earned from chastity and virtue.  Not a tradition for you to soil if you lacked the same.

what about anal? does it count

The idea that the white wedding dress is “an honor that is earned from chastity and virtue” is historically bullshit. 

In the west the white wedding dress has it’s origins in the Victorian era, specifically in the white dress Queen Victoria wore in her marriage to Prince Albert. At the time, red was the most popular color for upper-class women to wear at their wedding, and her wedding dress was sort of the contemporary version of Lady Gaga wearing some outlandish outfit to a red carpet event. (She also eschewed the ermine and crown traditional for a queen to wear, which was quite startling to many people.)

After that, a pure white dress became a fashionable way for wealthy, upper-class women to show off their money. Because a pure white dress would quickly yellow and could be ruined by a single spill or a little dirt in an era before 20th century laundering techniques, a white wedding dress was a way of saying “that’s right bitches, I’m so rich I can afford to have this beautiful, elaborate gown made for me and I’m only going to wear it once. Plus odds are good I’ll never work a day in my life or come into contact with anything that might soil it so yeah, great to be me, right?”

Connotations of spiritual purity and eventually virginity only came years later, when the idea of a “white wedding” began to appear in etiquette and housekeeping guidebooks. Even then, it was more because these qualities were associated with upper-class women rather than because the white dress was an honor earned through keeping hands off one’s genitals. Even then, most women just wore their best church dress to their wedding for quite a while. It was the image of thew white wedding dress in post WWII Hollywood movies that finally cemented it as a standard and iconic part of the culture.

Nowadays of course, the American wedding is an orgy of conspicuous consumption, and every woman regardless of her financial situation is expected to get married in a dress she’ll never wear again.

tl;dr, that tradition you’re so keen on protecting has less to do with virginity than is does with showing off big wads of cash.

Poor people would traditionally wear their Sunday best to get married in. They were usually black, brown or other dark colours, because Sunday Best outfits had to last for years and be appropriate for all occasions, including funerals. 

Reblogged for historical debunking

I’m always in favor of historical debunking that also gives the middle finger to Magical Virginity.

Hey op I love fucking and I’m gonna wear white to my wedding are you mad?

I love when Tumblr trashes troll bait with historical truth bombs.  Also, having recently gotten married, I really wish we could go back to the “just wear your fave dress, k?” version of weddings.  Because the pressure to spend thousands of dollars on a dress that you use once is horrible.

I wore red to my wedding and killed it in that dress. When my future mother-in-law saw a photo of the dress she was absolutely mortified and whispered “Aren’t you afraid that people will think you’re– not a virgin?” And I looked her dead in the eye and asked “Are you under some grand delusion that I haven’t been living with and sleeping with your son for the past year?”

I will NEVER understand why people place so much stock in being a virgin when they get married. If that’s your cup of tea, cool; I have no right to tell you to do otherwise. You do you. But physical intimacy is a real and important part of marriage, and personally I wanted to make sure I was one hundred percent compatible with the person I was pledging to spend my entire life with.

Crowned, full of sin, just celebrated seven years.

DAMN GIRL. THAT DRESS.

kiriamaya:

cutiequeercris:

clatterbane:

averyroundbird:

emeraldembers:

funereal-disease:

earlgraytay:

awbrainno:

tenaciousberry:

awbrainno:

I love seeing those posts where people are like “if you have headmates or whatever you should be on meds because that’s not okay” posts. Like neurotypicals just think that there’s some magical pill out there that will ‘cure’ anything they don’t consider ‘normal.’ Meanwhile, in the land of reality, my shrink thinks it’s pretty healthy that I’m finally getting to know my headmates, and has no intention of putting me on magic pills, because as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone else, who cares what neurotypicals think is ‘normal?’ Actually, let’s be real: who cares what neurotypicals think at all?

It is not a magic pill, it is called “Therapy” and you can even do it in groups!

i… literally mention my therapist… right there… in the original post…

did you not actually read this… do you honestly believe telling someone who has already admitted to being in therapy… to go to therapy… is a “gotcha” moment???

Okay, so there’s a relevant quote from Slatestar Codex here. (The link is to the source; attribution is a Thing.)

Basically, this one obsessive compulsive woman would drive to work every morning and worry she had left the hair dryer on and it was going to burn down her house. So she’d drive back home to check that the hair dryer was off, then drive back to work, then worry that maybe she hadn’t really checked well enough, then drive back, and so on ten or twenty times a day.

It’s a pretty typical case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but it was really interfering with her life. She worked some high-powered job – I think a lawyer – and she was constantly late to everything because of this driving back and forth, to the point where her career was in a downspin and she thought she would have to quit and go on disability. She wasn’t able to go out with friends, she wasn’t even able to go to restaurants because she would keep fretting she left the hair dryer on at home and have to rush back. She’d seen countless psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors, she’d done all sorts of therapy, she’d taken every medication in the book, and none of them had helped.

So she came to my hospital and was seen by a colleague of mine, who told her “Hey, have you thought about just bringing the hair dryer with you?”

And it worked.

She would be driving to work in the morning, and she’d start worrying she’d left the hair dryer on and it was going to burn down her house, and so she’d look at the seat next to her, and there would be the hair dryer, right there. And she only had the one hair dryer, which was now accounted for. So she would let out a sigh of relief and keep driving to work.

And approximately half the psychiatrists at my hospital thought this was absolutely scandalous, and This Is Not How One Treats Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and what if it got out to the broader psychiatric community that instead of giving all of these high-tech medications and sophisticated therapies we were just telling people to put their hair dryers on the front seat of their car?

I, on the other hand, thought it was the best fricking story I had ever heard and the guy deserved a medal. Here’s someone who was totally untreatable by the normal methods, with a debilitating condition, and a drop-dead simple intervention that nobody else had thought of gave her her life back.

It is not a therapist’s job to make you normal. It is a therapist’s job to give you your life back, on whatever terms are acceptable to you. And if your therapist can’t do that, you need to find a new therapist.

For some people, having headmates and/or alters is a debilitating condition. They’re losing large amounts of time, having trouble going to work and/or school, or hurting themselves or other people. In that case, they probably do need help, but I think most people who are getting fucked up by their headmates that badly are willing to seek out help on their own anyway.

Other people who have headmates and/or alters find it to be a neutral thing, or even a positive thing. 

Have you ever been in a roommate situation where different people do different chores, because, (say) Kate loves to do the dishes, but can’t stand to vaccuum, and Toby’s the exact opposite? If Kate and Toby are headmates, they can wind up doing the same kind of thing. Headmates can also comfort you when you’re sad, remind you that your depressive or intrusive thoughts are not true, or help you deal with difficult people. 

So, if you’re in that kind of situation, where your headmates are helping you to be more functional than you’d otherwise be? A good therapist is going to treat it like the hair dryer on the front seat of your car. 

Sure, it is a Weird Thing. It makes you look a bit eccentric, and it’s not normal. But if having headmates keeps you from having repeated nervous breakdowns, helps you hold down your job, or makes it so that you can deal with your abusers? Then it’s a win, and a good therapist won’t try to ‘fix’ that. 

It is not a therapist’s job to make you normal. It is a therapist’s job to give you your life back, on whatever terms are acceptable to you.

While I was working in the local hospital a few months back, part of the training included a dementia awareness course, and one of the stories I thought was very telling regarded a woman who had kept stealing towels from others in her residential home and leaving them to soak in her sink. After talking to her and her family, they found out she used to make a living doing laundry when she was much younger, so the residential home invested in one of those old washboard-and-bucket setups for her, and would leave some clothes by it in her room for her. The stealing stopped, and she became much more lively and talkative now that she had something to do that felt familiar to her.

With disabilities and mental illnesses, the reality of it is that many of them won’t go away, not with medicine or therapy or wishful thinking. Treatments are there to manage the conditions. And if the condition is being managed in a way that doesn’t cause harm to the person with that condition or their friends and family, then why should anyone look down on that management?

This just tells me what I’ve known all my life; neurotypicals don’t often care about mentally ill/cognitively disabled people living to their fullest, they just want them out of the way. Out of sight and out of mind.

Sure, a person with headmates who deals with them healthily might be living to their fullest and without repression or discomfort, but then neurotypicals would have to suffer them. Stimming might help a dyspraxic or autistic person express themselves and soothe anxiety, but its annoying and embarassing! And we can’t have that can we?

fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton:
“Treatment” isn’t a penalty cage you put crazy people in until they’re not crazy anymore

we dont have to be the same as neurotypical people to be healthy and have good lives. 

I can’t reblog this enough.