24th April 2002, 13:54.
The ‘Oh god not more’ entry.
Yeah, so, there’s more. I’m trying to think about layouts for the
site – nosing around lots of other websites, thinking about all the
background stuff that’s going to have to be done. Trying to coax some
enthusiasm. Looking at other sites to nick ideas ;-)
Not come up with anything yet. Actually, that’s not true. I’ve come
up with stuff, but it’s been pants (yes, apparently my e-mail contains
words that can’t be let out of the place I’m working for!) – not even
good enough for me to get as far as coding the HTML to see how near I
could get to what I envisiage in my brain in reality.
It’s a bit agonising really. I mean, it took – well, a *long* time
for me to design this site – and it’s been cludged and cludged and
cludged to accept more features. The first the webcam, then the
guestbook and now, thanks to amy the comments stuff.
And while the content has changed over the last few years – mostly
with the addition of more and more diary entries (christ, there’s 3
years worth (and yes, I know the diary-entry-index-page-links-code is
incorrect on a few pages (years are missing!)(What? You’d not noticed
that? See how much testing this site gets? I notice things that you
users don’t even see! ;-)) – the underlying code has stayed almost
exactly the same – albeit with some horrible bodges to get certain
changes through, I can’t remember what the last one was – it was done
using a little script though and, oh yes, it was the guestbook one,
which went through and stuck that guestbook link onto every page.
You can actually see it when you look at the code. No! Don’t look
now, at least have the deceny to finish reading the entry! Gah. And
anyway, you don’t want to look at the behind the scenes stuff here –
because behind it’s polished exterior this site holds a nasty
secret…and that secret is: Sorry, this document does not validate as HTML 4.0
Transitional.
Still, despite that it works perfectly in every browser that I’ve
tried it on – although there’s something wrong with the counter code,
but since I didn’t write that I don’t feel to guilty about that. I guess
the fact that it’s really some strange HTML 2/3/3.2/4 hybrid shows up
rahter badly when you look at it…and I’m not sure that the new site
will be any better.
I just don’t write code like that. It’d be nice if I did, but I’m a
horrible hacky person – I have this horrible feeling that one day my
site’ll be totally unviewable.
Anyway, in my trek around the sites I noticed that Kittenarmy’s site has changed
again – nice new design – but what really caught my eye was the about page. It kinda
said a lot of the stuff that I think. That goes on inside my head.
I sometimes wonder things. Do other people have the same sort of
thoughts and feelings that I have? Do they get the same thoughts running
through their heads? Do they get urges to do things that would
kill/injure themselves? I doubt that. They’ve nearly always been weak
enough that I could ignore them – at least the really harmful ones – but
I do wonder.
They’re usually transient – it just goes “why don’t you do that?”
where ‘that’ is something that would be, shally we say, harmful. And
that’s it. Still, they’ve happened less and less over time – enough that
it suprises me when they do happen. When one of these suggestions pops
into my head I now end up trying to work out where it came from – and
the answer is I don’t know – they just ‘appear’. They aren’t part of
some complex thought process. It’s just a case of “plink” and there they
are.
Does that happen to other people. Do other people constantly worry
about how they look – and what people are thinking about them? Hrm.
Wonder if I should be saying these things…
At the way-less-deep end of the scale I’ve also been thinking about
the garden. In a ‘what-the-hell do I do with it now’ kind of way. I
mean, I quite fancy a pond, but there’s no way I could afford one right
now. And a rockery (as opposed to a shrubbery – I wouldn’t even know
where to find a Shrubber….). I dunno.
Given the money I’d like to try the extra-room-creation-idea that
I’ve got, but I don’t have the money – not that it’d be that expensive,
well, it’d need decorating, but apart from that. Still.
Anyway, I think I shall away back to thinking about new site layouts.
At least I’ve had an idea for the new regolith site. That’s quite
definately an improvement…so look out for that.
I’m also thinking it’s probably time I took down Kismet Noire.
I still like the site (actually, since I did this site and the Kismet
Noire one I’ve not actually designed a site I don’t currently like) but
I’ve not done anything with it – and it’s not like any of the photos
I’ve ever taken have been staggeringly good…
Well, apart from the boat one and the winch-thing. Two lucky shots in
a lifetime of mediocrity.
And frankly the contents of that site is [insert f word here]
pretentious. God. I must have been feeling smug, either that or I was
taking the [urine]. Yick.
Okay, decision made, that’s gone. Never mind….
Gah, the rustling of these trousers is driving me spare – whenever I
walk anywhere it sounds like I’m in the middle of a rain storm.
Good quote – via Peter – “Only in particle accelerator experiments in
Switzerland have
scientists managed to raise the toner lever of a printer to
full, but this is a highly unstable state” – kjetil, #afp
Okay, how’s this for a garden layout? (Apologies for the quality but the only
software I’ve got at work is Windows Paint).
Fairly conservative I guess –
but still – maybe it needs some refinement? Of course, beyond that
there’s the “what plants to we put in it?” but I’ll get to that later.
Still, there’s at least an idea – and something for me to think
about…..
—
Kate E
Comments:
amy at Thu Apr 25 05:39:29 2002 said:
Do they get urges to do things that would kill/injure themselves?
Hey, eveytime I go on my bike ;) *vooosh* breaks are.. closer to not now.. midsummer last year they were worn down below the “must change!!” level…
And that garden thing looks deadly domestic or something..
at Thu Apr 25 18:15:12 2002 said:
kill injure? frequently.. thankfully I rarely get those urges at the same time as i get my lil energy doses…
Kate E at Fri Apr 26 09:46:52 2002 said:
kill injure?
Yes, well, usually just damage, but sometimes it’s stuff like “Why don’t you step out in front of that lorry”…
As I say they’re not strong, compelling things, they’re just sort of suggestions which appear in my brain which I have to consciously say “no” to….
amy at Fri Apr 26 20:22:04 2002 said:
I do get that quite a lot too. Wandering over a bridge an think: why not just jump over?
Alexa at Tue May 7 01:03:27 2002 said:
The lemming reaction? I think everybody gets that, though intensity probably varies.
The thing to worry about is if you get thoughts about doing that kind of stuff when you’re not exposed to the situtations, if you follow me…
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