July 31, 2002 12:00 AM

In My Brain II – Archives: July 2002

<blockquote>

Wednesday, July 31, 2002

For whatever reason (probably lack of sleep) I feel like absolute crap this morning. Absolute. Crap. I didn’t get to go jogging – well, okay, I didn’t *go* jogging becuase it’s raining. This sucks, because I am not mad enough to want to go out in the rain but I do *really* want to get fit.

So, anyway, what was I going to ramble about? Any ideas? No?

Nor have I right now, I kinda started with this whole bunch of thoughts but tiredness seems to have taken them away. [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000085.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 11:32 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000085.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/31/02: Yet more boring drivel’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000085.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Aoife, Aisling, Lauren and I <a href=”/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/aboutme/July2002_London.shtml”>here</a> and Amy, Nikki (see Nikki I kept *those* pics to myself, yes they did come out…), Lauren and I <a href=”/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/aboutme/July2002_Southend.shtml”>here</a>.

Don’t forget the competition……I’ll even sign the pebble…

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 01:13 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000084.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/31/02: And more new pics’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000084.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Okay, so I had this interesting question to ask yesterday; in the picture I posted, which people are blokes and which are women? (Interesting to see how different people answer)

They’re all 16/17ish.

Anyway, so, the first person with all correct answers wins a pebble….

<a href=”/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/photographs/personal/kate-sweet16.jpg”>Go see</a>

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 12:17 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000083.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/30/02: Win a Pebble!’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000083.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>3 comments</a>]

So, I’ve been playing with <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://xine.sourceforge.net/”>Xine</a>. With some help and persistance it was compiled and installed (it really didn’t seem to want to go for a while), and I had a little play with it and the d5d plugin (DVD with menus ‘n’ stuff) – anyway it was close but not quite there with the DVD playback. Anyway, with the discovery of the NVidia driver option we’ve got to “really f’kin close” to DVD playback while running KDE3! Woo![goes off to play some more]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 10:26 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000082.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/30/02: Go little K6-II’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000082.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

I went jogging!

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 08:41 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000081.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/30/02: WooYeah!’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000081.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Monday, July 29, 2002

I failed to actually get up to go jogging this morning. I’ll have to go this evening. Not breaking that promise to myself to get fit again – I’ve done that enough time. I also promised my mum I’d do some curls, which’ll be, well, hard work.
[<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000080.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 04:50 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000080.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/29/02: Oh, I dunno, make one up.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000080.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Sunday, July 28, 2002

Been away. Come back.

My dad’s ill again – getting worse. Talking about death. I have to look up information about ‘green funerals’. My mum’s talking about selling the house.

So. Yes.

On the plus side I found the picture of me from when I was 16. So. I’ll scan that soon.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 09:16 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000079.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/28/02: So.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000079.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

So, some more pics.

<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/~arya/index.htm”>Aislings pictures</a>, including a <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/~arya/movies/TRAIN.AVI”>video</a> of me….!

And <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://amy.shacknet.nu/page/nikkibirthdaypics”>Amy</a> provides some more pics of nikki’s birthday.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 12:33 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000078.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/23/02: What I\’ve been up to continued.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>] [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000078.shtml#comments” onmouseover=”window.status=’Add a comment to this entry’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>No Comments</a>]

Monday, July 22, 2002

Hrm. Just watched junkyard wars (i.e. the ‘merkinised version of Scrapyard Wars) – interesting, and to be honest, irritating. Why?

Well, in the semi-final the team that won (pitbulls, iirc) should have been disqualified – or at least lost – because they’re machine just *did not work*. Whereas the other team’s machine did at least do what it was meant to, not well, but it did. How did the ‘pitbulls’ win without their machine working? Brute force. They were building fire-pumps and the pitbulls just threw water at the fire, with a bucket.

Anyway, so they got through that one – although you could tell the presenters didn’t like it.

And *this* time – they cheated, got pissed off when the other team stole back stuff (which is a bit of a pot, kettle, black situation since they stole stuff before). Anyway, they won. Which was irritating. But anyway.

The thing that struck me is that you don’t see that in the UK version. You don’t see another team’s members threatening to attack another team, and you don’t see outright stealing. Yeah, they’ll nab stuff from *outside* the other teams area, but not *inside*. Anyway. It just struck me as really unpleasant.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 09:56 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000077.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/22/02: Junkyard Wars’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

And in a shocking development, cats have started their own experiments….
<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://www.friedmanarchives.com/Animals/pages/Runch%20portrait%20-%20Oscilloscope%208×10%20300%20dpi.htm”>Fear the cat…</a>

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 02:07 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000076.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/22/02: A shocking development’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Sudden realisation: I have less personal space than I had at university; I actually have less space than I had at university. And less control over that space.

It’s *really* not good.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 12:37 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000075.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/22/02: Eeep.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

So, the last entry was kinda – well, it was a song that Jas was playing which fitted (fits) with my mood. I’m just about holding steady at “really not very happy”, which is better than the alternative which keeps attempting to assert itself.
[<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000074.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 01:12 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000074.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/22/02: A real entry…’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Sunday, July 21, 2002

Today I am
A small blue thing
Like a marble
Or an eye [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000073.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 08:39 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000073.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/21/02: Small blue thing.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

It seems that my body’s unhappy with the current set of hormones. Having looked back at blood test the results and compared them over time you could see that one enzyme was slowly climbing.

But no one did that until now….because now one of my liver enzymes is outside the safe range. And I can’t remember which one, which is even more annoying because my GP said, and I quote: “I’m not really sure what you
should do – do you think you should go and see your endocrinologist again”.

Gah!

[cue rant]Why in hell can’t I have a condition that people actually *know* how to treat, rather than *me* having to work it all out for myself?[/rant]

Okay….normal service is resumed. We’ll see what the endo says…

[…although last time he had less clue than me. Whoopee!]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 06:41 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000072.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/17/02: Hormones…’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Monday, July 15, 2002

Okay, it seems that Amy is feeling somewhat better today so I feel like doing a little more on the what happened on Saturday…. [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000071.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 11:28 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000071.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/15/02: continued’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Sunday, July 14, 2002

Christ I’m tired. Godly god.

Is 190 miles too far to go for a party? I’d say not….

So, it was <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://www.livejournal.com/users/nikkileah/”>nikki’s</a> birthday this weekend so I headed down there…but there was a slight change of “plan”…it went like this: [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000070.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 11:27 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000070.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/14/02: Christ I\’m tired.’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Monday, July 8, 2002

Picture the scene…. [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000069.shtml”>more</a>]

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 11:57 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000069.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/08/02: Urgh’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Wednesday, July 3, 2002

Emergency question! If the friend called Charlotte I had at university is reading this, or any other freinds from Uni are going to be in Oxford on Sunday do they fancy meeting up with me and a friend for a drink?

Okay, now that’s over and done with.,

I think I’ve just about matured enough to go to university. I mean, it’s fairly obvious that since I’ve been depressive all my life, I’m always going to have depressive spells, so I’m ready to cope with that – but I think my personality has just about hit the level I should have been at when I was 17. Gah.

Damnit. Damn, damn, damn. Still it seems to be more or less back under control. But I just wish I knew some people around here – I mean, I used to go out to pubs, and to Griffin Soash – anyone got a suggested equivalent in Bristol – and anyone wanna come?

Yeah. So. Anyway.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 07:07 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000068.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/03/02: I think I\’ve just about matured enough’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

[KateE] I’m feeling pissed at the fact that: I have completely fucked up my
hands, wasted multiple years of my life, I’m broke, and I don’t
have *any* friends around here who I can just bugger off to the pub
with.
* KateE doesn’t know how to make friends irl
[KateE] I don’t go to work, so I don’t make freinds there. I don’t *do*
anything. I just sit here.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 06:48 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000067.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/03/02: IRC [need a hug]’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Damn it, I’m having those “I wish I’d told my parents earlier” things. *sigh*

Particularly before university. What a waste.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 06:31 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000066.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/03/02: Damn’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Tuesday, July 2, 2002

How the ***** did I miss this?!

<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://venusenvy.keenspace.com/”>Venus Envy</a>.

By the way folks, I’m learning CSS…

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 11:31 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000065.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/02/02: Venus Envy’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Argh. No, let me rephrase that – AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

Fucking windows fucking GDI printers. We have one, sadly. A colour Laser. Which wouldn’t be so bad except the drivers for this particular one are *utter* *shit*. It includes a particularly useful piece of software called “Minolta Uninstaller” – which you might think was a tool for uninstalling the minolta printer drivers, but no, it’s actually a tool for breaking your windows install.

Bear in mind that these are specific windows 2000 drivers, running on Windows 2000.

Clicking uninstall leads it to uninstall itself and various bits not belonging to it, thus making it impossible to reinstall the fucking things. Grr.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 07:22 PM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000064.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/02/02: F*cking w*ndows’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

Monday, July 1, 2002

Well, I’ve had a fairly knackering weekend – been to see Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the poorly written script. Actually, I quite enjoyed it – although I think we were the only people in the cinema who found it incredibly funny. I get the feeling everyone else was attempting to take it seriously.

We also went to see Spiderman (although I’d seen it before) – which still Rocks. Unfortunately I came out of that wanting to be able to shoot webs out of my wrist, which funnily enough I can’t do. Nuts.

But without doubt the best bit of the weekend wasn’t something I did *this* weekend. As I said on the <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000051.shtml”>26th</a> – I wrote to my dad, well, left a letter for my dad trying to explain my experience of depression and just talking to him about his depression – and it seems to have helped.

When he rang he sounded so much happier, and was actually talking about the things he’d done – and spoke about the letter I’d left and how much it helped to know that someone else at least understood the depression. I hope it helps. It seems to have done, and I’m grateful for that.

Posted by <a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/” target=”new”>kate</a> @ 10:26 AM GMT [<a href=”https://web.archive.org/web/20020831052805/http://bursar.linuxgrrls.org/archives/00000063.shtml” onmouseover=”window.status=’07/01/02: Weekend’;return true” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true”>Link</a>]

</blockquote>

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More posts

Mourning

Well, poo.

Intersections.

On being nice to myself