At some point in the last few years doing Official Banking Things went from making me feel like I was a twelve year old playing dress up and for some reason getting away with it to making me feel more competent and responsible and in-control.
It probably has something to do with the mortage. Not so much that after a mortgage, everything else seems like peanuts, but because I spent years expecting someone to say “Shit, we didn’t mean to let you buy this house! You’re a kid! It was a joke! It’s all a big mistake, we can’t believe you thought it was real, you have a month to move to a shitty apartment.”
It’s now been almost seven years of that not happening, so it’s starting to sink in that maybe, just maybe, I’m a Grown Up where these things are concerned.
Or, y’know, everyone else is just as secretly bewildered inside as me. That’s likely, too.
I wonder if becoming an adult is about reaching the point when trying to do something financial or bureaucratic is more “oh god, this again”, as opposed to just “oh god” (my former reaction to these things).