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  • enterlameprofilename said: Maybe
    if it’s not extremely formal and the invitees are within a close social
    circle, you could just use the first names? Or pass the buck back and
    ask them what they’d prefer?
  • I’d usually just ask her in this situation, but since she’s Japanese throwing an American/anglophone etiquette thing I can’t answer back at her seems a trifle cruel!

  • justice-turtle said: I’d
    say use whatever name she’s going by currently / pre-wedding. Source:
    vague memories of the etiquette for remarriage wedding invitations in
    the 1950s.
  • Hehe, it’s not really a re-marriage. I mean, they ARE getting married again – for the third time – so I suppose it technically is, but they never got divorced in the middle. :P

    (Courthouse wedding last fall so she could stay in the country – I was a witness! – wedding in Japan in April, wedding here in August. So. Many. Weddings. Sound familiar, @pyoorkate?)

    It’s still good advice, though. Asking her what she’s going by currently is nicer than saying “hey, what do you want on this thing?” and leaving her with a potentially stressful decision. Yay!

    We only had 3… :)