Day: June 14, 2016

mostlysignssomeportents:

Ken White was once a US Federal Prosecutor, but he’s also served as a defense attorney, and when he was defending clients, he routinely told the judge about the ways in which his clients were good people, and what talents they had.

That’s just what Brock Allan Turner’s attorney did, too, and so convincingly that Turner will not serve a meaningful prison sentence, though he is undisputably a rapist who irrevocably harmed the survivor of his crime.

White explains why defense attorneys do this: to transform “your client even momentarily from an abstraction or a statistic or a stereotype into a human being with whom the judge feels a connection.” But he also explains how judges are supposed to have the judgment to put limits on that connection, to empathize with the crime’s survivors, and to do what’s right.

White says that Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky failed in this duty, that he “rendered good defense attorney practice irrelevant.” That much is obvious, but White goes on to unpack the systemic reasons for Persky’s dereliction of duty, and how this resonates through the whole justice system.

People throw around the word “privilege” a lot, and it’s easy to see its evidence around us, but what White does here is expose its mechanism, and that’s an important addition to the debate.

https://boingboing.net/2016/06/08/why-defense-attorneys-arent.html

zeph16:

chibi-masshuu:

alexdarke:

Earlier today, a friend remarked: “I don’t understand. The way you are reacting, it’s almost like you knew someone in the club.”

Here’s the thing you need to understand about every LGBT person in your family, your work, and your circle of friends:

We’ve spent most of our lives being aware that we are at risk.

When you hear interviewers talking to LGBT folks and they say “It could have been here. It could have been me,” they aren’t exaggerating. I don’t care how long you’ve been out, how far down your road to self acceptance and love you’ve traveled, we are always aware that we are at some level of risk.

I’m about as “don’t give a shit what ANYONE thinks” as anyone you’ll ever meet… and when I reach to hold Matt’s hand in the car? I still do the mental calculation of “ok, that car is just slightly behind us so they can’t see, but that truck to my left can see right inside the car”. If I kiss Matt in public, like he leaned in for on the bike trail the other day, I’m never fully in the moment. I’m always parsing who is around us and paying attention to us. There’s a tension that comes with that… a literal tensing of the muscles as you brace for potential danger. For a lot of us, it’s become such an automatic reaction that we don’t even think about it directly any more. We just do it.

And then… over the last few years, it started to fade a little. It started to feel like maybe things were getting better. A string of Supreme Court decisions. Public opinion shifting to the side of LGBT rights. Life was getting better. You could breathe a little bit.

What happened with this event was one of two things that are pretty dramatically demonstrated by how Matt and I are reacting to this. Matt came out fairly late, during the golden glow of the changing tide. He’s never dealt with something like this. It’s literally turned him inside out emotionally because all that stuff he read about that was just “then” became very much “NOW”. For me, I’ve had some time to adjust to the idea that people hate us enough to kill us. Matthew Shepherd was my first real lesson in that. So this weekend was a sudden slap in the face, a reminder that I should never have let my guard down, should never have gotten complacent… because it could have been US.

Every LGBT person you know knows what I’m talking about. Those tiny little mental calculations we do over the course of our life add up… and we just got hit with a stark reminder that those simmering concerns, those fears… they probably won’t ever go away. We’ll never be free of them. Additionally, now we just got a lesson that expressing our love could result in the deaths of *others* completely unrelated to us. It’s easy to take risks when it’s just you and you’ve made that choice. Now there’s this subtext that you could set off someone who kills other people who weren’t even involved. And that’s just a lot.

That’s why I’m personally a bit off balance even though (or because, depending on how you look at it) I live in Texas and was not personally effected by this tragedy. Don’t get me wrong: nothing will change. I will still hold my husband’s hand in public. I will still kiss him in public. We’ll still go out and attend functions and hold our heads high.

But we will be doing those mental calculations for the rest of our lives. Those little PDAs you take for granted with your spouse. They come with huge baggage for us. Every single one is an act of defiance, with all that entails.

So do me a favor. Reach out to that LGBT person in your life. Friend, co-worker, or family. Just let them know you are thinking of them and you love them. That will mean the world to them right now. I promise you.

Because I can’t express myself like he does. Share with anyone who doesn’t understand.

This. Please don’t let this die.
Cause we are going to.

shadesofmauve:

painandcats:

republicofgermany:

snailsrightsactivist:

dtsguru:

voidbat:

painandcats:

– Make sure the place where you’re going is accessible!  Your date might opt to use a wheelchair that day, and if they’re using a cane, best to make sure there aren’t a silly number of stairs involved in whatever date you’re considering.

– Call ahead to the place to see if wheelchairs are available to borrow if you’re going somewhere that involves a lot of walking and standing around, like a museum.

– If your date is using a cane, they likely only have one arm to hold things.  Consider bringing their food/drinks to the table along with yours– let them claim a booth while you get the food!

– Be prepared and willing to be someone’s physical support sometimes, especially if your date is having a rough leg day.

– Be prepared for a Plan B Date: it’s so awesome to have a back-up plan for the date if the day comes around and your person is spoonless.  Believe me, it’ll mean a lot.

i just really want to add some from my own experience:

• ask yourself, really ask yourself if you’re fine with plans being cancelled at the last second, cancelled mid-event, and for plans to often be “come over to my house and lump on the couch with me” – if you aren’t? don’t date somebody with chronic pain/fatigue. especially if you will take that sort of thing personally and/or hold it against the person. if you date me, you date my disabilities. i have to deal with them, so do you.
• if you are grocery shopping with someone who uses a mobility aid like a cane or rollator, and that person is pushing the cart? DO. NOT. MOVE. THE CART. while they are using the cart, it is taking the place of their normal mobility aid and moving it is like moving their leg. DON’T DO IT. i have fallen in grocery stores more times than i want to think about due to an ex who couldn’t get it through his head that THIS IS MY CANE RIGHT NOW and would just grab the basket and drag it somewhere.
• if your date says “no, it’s fine, i’ve got it” when you try to do something? let them. just let them. my disabilities takes so much away from me, the things i can actually do are things i am proud of. it makes me feel better to be able to do things for myself. i detest nothing more than an able-bodied person INSISTING on doing something that i can do myself, even though i’ve said multiple times that i’d prefer to do it myself. it says volumes on what that person really thinks of my abilities as a functional human, none of them positive. i get that you’re trying to help, but i promise, taking away what autonomy we do have? not helpful.
• learn to tell your date beforehand what the date will entail. learn to look for the things your date would need to know. i had an ex that never factored in things like “walking half a mile” or “it’s a three story walkup with no elevator” because those things were no problem for him. i, on the other hand, would arrive at the destination crying from pain and unable to enjoy a damn thing – and exhausted in advance by knowing i’d have to repeat the journey just to get back home. don’t be afraid to ask your date what things they need to have taken into consideration. ask what accessibility options are necessary for them when it comes to cane/wheelchair access, how much access there is to regular seating, how much walking will happen, how many stairs there are.

  if you go to a movie and the only parking is way in the back, ask if they’d rather you drop them up front while you get a spot – because sometimes traversing a large parking lot is the difference between watching a movie and sleeping through it, or being too distracted by pain to follow it.

  by and large, we know our limitations and it means the world to have someone say “hey i want to take you to this exhibit, i think you’d really enjoy it! there’s several stairs to the entrance and the wheelchair ramp is kind of obnoxiously far away, so it’s either a bunch of walking or deal with stairs to get in there, but once you’re inside there’s a lot of comfortable benches and not a whole lot of walking.” because they thought about how you navigate the environment. 

• if your date is using a rollator or wheelchair, make sure your car (or whatever form of transportation you are going to be using) has space to put it. don’t ask me out to the renaissance faire and then show up in a CRX and look confused when i say my rollator can’t go in that so i’ve gotta stay home.
• BE. PATIENT. this shit is unpleasant enough for us already, the last thing any of us need in our lives is another able-bodied asshole making us feel like burdens. we can’t do everything as quickly or as easily or sometimes at all. sometimes we need your help. sometimes we have to cancel plans. even big plans. even big expensive plans. it’s no fun for us either. sometimes we have to back out of shit halfway through because our bodies have absolutely hit the wall and have failed us. i’ve had to abandon a cart full of groceries before and sleep in my car before i could even manage to drive home because my body just gave the fuck out with no warning. can you imagine? just for a second? imagine being young enough to still get carded for booze and your body literally collapses and you have to almost crawl to your car, sitting in the middle of the floor several times on the way. don’t get frustrated with us, we’re doing our best. it’s just harder than you can imagine.

Also remember just because the cane isn’t there doesn’t mean the disability isn’t there. All of these points are still relevant. Be aware. Be considerate.

I want everyone to see this

The “only one arm to hold things” point is really important.  I find that most people have a grasp of the walking stuff (stairs, long distances etc.) without having to think about it much.  What most people don’t consider is that the tools you use to deal with lower limb impairments essentially mean giving yourself an upper limb impairment instead.

This also applies to situations like getting things out of your wallet/bag while standing or walking.  Something as “simple” as pulling your train ticket out of your wallet isn’t as easy as you think when you’ve only got one hand free.

Also, those drink bottles with the pull-tops that you can drink straight out of?  Way better than screw-tops where you have to hold the bottle in one hand and unscrew the lid with the other.

Omg yes I never really thought about it but opening bottles (or, actually, walking with hot coffee without one of those stoppers) is suuuuper annoying and takes skill to do without making a mess.

Under the heading of “Be prepared and be willing to give physical support sometimes,” many people don’t know how to do that well (either effictively or in a non-objectionable way, which actually boil down to the same things in this case). I wrote a post about how to give someone physical support (specifically for getting up and walking around), in case that’s useful.

Also, I’ll add that you should be particularly cognizant of the surface you’re walking on. If someone has balance issues or leg issues, it’s super annoying to have the person you’re supposedly with book it across the grass when you have to trudge around longways or risk toppling over taking the shortcut. This applies to friends, not just dates. Pace yourself to the slowest person in the group and realize they might not be able to handle off-roading.

derekmalikpoindexter:

wilwheaton:

greenekangaroo:

scrawlers:

australopithecusrex:

relax-o-vision:

dedalvs:

roachpatrol:

kateordie:

freezecooper:

Ppl be like “ I want an actual male gem, not just Steven.”

Jeez, it’s like having only one character

to represent your whole gender

in a group composed all of another gender

is a bit upsetting huh?

I wonder

what

that’s like

no really

can you 

even imagine

what this lack of representation

MUST 

FEEL 

LIKE

This

post

isn’t

long

enough

none of the listed shows are named after the one female character, either

it’s actually physically impossible for me to not reblog this post.

I want to say I’ve reblogged this before, but I’m reblogging again for the brilliant addition of, “None of the listed shows are named after the one female character, either” because FUCKING THANK YOU.

mmmmmhm.

Every time I reblog this, there are new shows on the list.