This better be good….

I made an appointment for uh, councelling today.

I kinda always presumed that I could cope with whatever life throws at me, and to an extent, I think I can. But I think if I’m going to deal successfully with my dad’s deteriorating condtition (it’s so hard to be scared, because he’s been so ill so many times. And each time it suddenly strikes me that this could be it and then I get scared….), the whole ‘kid thing’, and the various other issues I’ve got in my history; well; maybe someone to talk to would be good.

So. Yes. I’m incredibly nervous about it, I’ve never had councelling before – although I did look at it when my dad was diagnosed. So, well, yeah, we’ll see. Hey guys, I’m in therapy ;-)

Still, maybe this counts as taking care of myself, something my friends repeatedly tell me I don’t do enough of.

Anyway, I should get back to working.

It Fits

Dashboard [partially] fitted [oil pressure gauge and clock not connected]. Await news on whether it all works…. and the video.

So if you don’t know…

I can’t have kids. It’s just the way it is. I can’t, probably never could, have known for a few years that I can’t have kids. Partially my own choice to move from “unlikely” to “never going to happen”; but the choice was “health problems” or “kids”, and health problems won.

I’ve just spent the past 4 days with kids.

4 days.

I can’t deal with it, as Nikki discovered when I rang her in tears from outdside where I was meant to be. I’ve got to spend another 14 weeks doing this. I can’t cope. I have to talk to my mentor and say “this is not possible, I can’t deal with it”.

Another great big oops

As a student nurse, I’m utterly paranoid when I’m doing drug rounds that I’ll give someone the wrong drug. Hell, I expect I’ll be the same as a trained nurse…. so I don’t fail to see the irony in the fact that for the last 2-3 days I’ve been taking the wrong tablets. I can’t remember which day it was, but I remember waking up, attempting to extract a tablet from the little foil blister pack, discovering it was empty, fishing about in the bedside cupboard and pulling out a new blister pack of tablets….

…Unfortunately, either in my dozy state, or through complete idiocy I pulled out the wrong ones. So; for 2-3 days I’d been taking the wrong tablets. Or more accurately twice the dose of one tablet and none-at-all of the other one. This may account for my moodyness, tiredness, and general oddness over the last few days.

Of course, switching back is also fun, my body’s always been very sensitive to my tablets and uh, this has not gone unnoticed. It wasn’t even as though I was checking when I noticed…. I just took one, went to take the other one and thought “hey, haven’t I taken that already….”. Duh.

Still, hopefully things’ll be back to normal in Kate world soon (sounds like some sort of Barbie-esque competitor. Kate world. Or maybe a new magazine for pre-teens. Worrying….).

So. In my work avoidance I’ve been doing some video stuff; this stuff has probably got an even narrower audience than my normal videos; it’s vaguely educational. Or uh, informative. I’m also trying to use less of the popular / famous / well known / likely to sue me for money stuff in the soundtracks to the videos. So if you know of any unsigned bands…. Mind you, in my uninspired, tired state last night it was all I did was stick some bits one after another. It really needs uh, redoing. ‘cos it sucks at the moment :-)

Anyway, that’s enough from me. Oh, I’ve hurt my shoulder god-knows-how. One minute it was fine, the next I’m in quite-a-lot-of-pain. It’s sort of okay at the moment; if I don’t move it too much or look to my right. I think I may have done it while out jogging, but…. and for reasons which escape me I’m also phenominally tired. Oh, that’s probably still the tablet thing :-/

Oh, that’ll do. I’m knackered now…..

Incidentally, I recommend listening to coverville, which is a podcast thing, and it’s very cool.

Ah, for the sake of 5 minutes

If I leave at 5 minutes to 8 then I get to uni in 10 minutes. If I leave, as I did today at 8.00 then I get to uni in 50 minutes or so. So, instead of me having over an hour to kill, I have rather less. And since the lecture’s on the other side of the campus less still.

What can you do with 15 minutes?

Meh.

It’s all ready! No fair!

Nyargh! It’s ready. It’s ready but it’s too late and it’ll get dark and I’ll be left without a car tomorrow if I try to fit it and and and and AAaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I’ve waited so long for this and worked so hard and and and I WANT TO SEE IT ALL TOGETHER ON THE CAR DAMNIT!

NYARGH!

Excited and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

So here. Here is a photo. Look and admire. Praise me, for I rock.

Exit tree stage left.

I just said yes.

I said yes.

I must be mad. Madder’n a chocolate teapot. Madder’n a lorry.

For goodness sake! I am soon to be the proud (sic) owner of a Morris Minor Series II.

What tree am I meant to be in again?

In other news my placement for university appear unaware that I’ll be attending, and the woman I’m meant to be on placement with has been off sick for [a long time]. Woo! Go Uni!