I would like to announce

shitsquiettime:

That I found a bat this morning.  A cute lil bat.  An adorable lil thing.  It was so cute. 

But it was in my car.  There was a bat.  In my car.  Just chillin in the back seat.  Eating an Oreo that had probably been lost under my seat since the stone ages.  

I noticed him just as I was buckling my seat belt.  He just sat there.  Munching.  Watching me watch it.  

It’s 5am lil buddy I have to work.  Go home.  What are you doing eating sweets for breakfast?  That is not good for you, young man.  But get out of my car and take your horribly unhealthy breakfast with you. 

I was late for work because I spent twenty fucking minutes trying to get a small baby bat out of my car without hurting it or it hurting itself. 

Just. 

There was a bat eating an Oreo in the back seat of my car this morning lookin at me like “Where we goin, Mom?” and I just don’t know how to go about my day now.