It seems counterintutive, but we were nearly sunk by the sink.

Sorry.

So we got the counter on. Getting the counter on wasn’t terrible. We had to maneuver the dishwasher in and out a few times because the level wasn’t set quite right; so it would have fouled the bottom of the counter. But after a few trips (and it’s on rollers), it was in and seems to be at the right height.

Then we had to play ‘what looks right’ to get the countertop on. Because the wall’s not straight; and so the cabinets don’t sit perfectly; nor does the cooker.

But eventually we reached a consensus between all the warring angles and we decided we were happy with the position.

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So then it was time to install the sink.

We got the template, positioned it carefully, drew around it, drilled some starter holes and set to with a multipurpose blade in the jigsaw. Did it go well? No, it f’kin did not.

The screws we’d put in to hold the metal to the wood – well, let’s just say they got in the way. Then the blade decided to go off for a wander at a jaunty angle. Then nothing we had would cut through the screws which were riiiight where we needed to go*

Finally, using a combination of the reciprocating demo-saw, a bunch of new jigsaw blades, and a fine agglomeration of swearing we got the hole cut. Then we test fitted the sink – placing some wood blocks to stop it being difficult to get out**, we dropped it in. It fit perfectly***.

We attached the clips (per the instructions), coated the edges with silicone sealant and popped the sink in the hole.

Whereupon it instantly became apparent that the clips now fouled the edge of the hole and would quite definitely not go in the hole. Eventually, after a rapid assessment of the deteriorating situation we realised that even were we to pop it out and cut the hole bigger – which would be a challenge to do as once the clips are on there’s approximately 2-3mm between ‘correct size to get the sink through’ and ‘oh, the sink has fallen through the hole’ because the clips almost, but not quite, protrude at the side of the sink**** – the clips were too short to actually clip the damn sink to our worksurface as they’re less than an inch and a half long, and our work surface is an inch and a half thick. Plus a the front and back 3/4″ for the top surface of the cabinet.

So after some rapid assessment we opted for yanking the clips off again, throwing in a bit more sealant and putting the sink in. It turned out that actually, the wood blocks we’d put which held the sink just out of the hole (making it easier for us to remove it after test fitting) had hidden another problem; the pieces of metal that hold the clips in actually fouled the hole too.

The supplied template is woefully wrong.

We bent them a bit and managed to shove the sink into the hole.

It looks nice now – and hopefully the amount of sealant there is enough to both seal it and hold the damn thing in.

Then came the discovery that the drains supplied with the sink have necks that are about 3cm longer than the old sink. Whiiiiiich, it turned out, is a problem because where the drain enters the wall was somewhat marginal height wise anyway. And it turns out, the easiest and best route ends up with the new drain pipe being in the way of the drain – a plan which obviously wasn’t going to work.

It took a lot of pondering, staring, holding up bits of pipe, and in the end some rather weird routing – but… eventually I landed on this:

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Which seems to work.

And so, at long last, we have a proper kitchen sink. The tap is actually attached and no longer spins at the slightest provocation. It no longer has to be twisted to allow you to have it on cold.

It’s quite nice.

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* Or so we thought.

** A mistake.

*** Spoiler alert: It didn’t.

**** WTF?!