Kates Journal

So, after I posted my last post, Nikki – friend and saviour – came round and persuaded me to take the day off work and just try to get my mind off stuff. After a cup of coffee, and me nearly breaking down on the phone to work in a conversation which ran:

Kate: Oh hi *name*; It’s Kate, I’m afraid I won’t be in this afternoon…
Colleague: Oh… Are you okay?
Kate: Um. Err. Not err….really….no. *concentrates on not crying* Um. I’ll be in tomorrow though.

This is of course patently ridiculous, but it’s so much not what I need at the moment. Anyway, I spent the day round at Nikki’s, we went out and found the house I was interested in was sold yesterday (my fault, I didn’t notice it was in an earlier auction than I thought it was. Which is a bugger). In fact, that made me feel even more crap.

But after a while we went and played with her welder:

Not too bad for a first days attempt. Lots more practice required though I suspect.

And now I’m home I’m going to watch Anime and eat Pizza.

Medical related. Possibly triggering. Possibly TMI. Read the rest of this entry »

When I was filled with the youthful joys of the world (i.e. a few years ago) estate agents (realtors) were considered somewhat slimey. Indeed, my family’s experience with them left me thinking that dealing with Estate Agents was somewhat like diving headlong into a bucket of jellied eels.

Dealing with estate agents was an experience wont to make you wash yourself clean afterwards.

Oddly though, their obsequeous nature appears to have vaporised. I presume this is because houses more or less sell themselves, and the job of the estate agent is now to simply extract money from you – not to actually put any effort into finding houses for you or anything silly like that, because you’ll find the house using the internet, turn up, view it and buy it or not. They are now glorified typists – putting houses on the market at ridiculously insane prices (entering their details on their website) and then creaming off a huge chunk of the money.

*sigh*

Anyway, dealing with them today left me feeling frustrated, annoyed and completely demotivated.  Well, that and dealing with my favourite government deparment again. Oh, and the NHS. *sigh*

I don’t really have any energy and this just saps what little there is right out of me. Like a fracking vampire.

My sig has, for a long time, read “The whole plan relied on the innate curiosity of the potato”. I wrote this down on a piece of paper at some point in my teens – I heard it on the radio and thought it was the most fantastic quote ever. Years later I found it – and still thought it was the best quote ever; but had no idea of context. Despite that I replaced my then sig (“Je suis en retard pour la classe parce que j’étais retenu par religieuses renégates sur les roue”) with it – just because it fitted me so well.

Eventually after annoying countless people by informing them that I had no idea where it came from, I was informed it was a quote by Stanislaw Lem. I just found out that he died today. My respects to an author I’ve never read, but fully intend to.

So, even when I’m fine, I just have to start working on my disertation, my EU packs, my assignments and I’m hit by a wave of tiredness. I know it’s psychological – I know it’s because I just want these 3 years to be over and done with. But I’m so tired. So tired.

I felt okay, although I’m still pissed about the house. I really want to go looking, but finding the enthusiasm and time is hard… time’s the worst. Bloody time. I need more of it. Lots more.