Kates Journal

The TV set is dead. Or at least, it’s doing a passable impression.

Having got it going again with the new line output transistor it, well, killed it. And for good measure decided to explode the line output transformer (although, apparently, it may still work). At any rate, the prospect of it becoming a fixed object is becoming distant. At least to me.

I might give it one more go. One more *small* go.

Anyone got a spare lopt for a B.R.C. 8500 chassis? Oh, and a BU208 transistor?

At any rate, my day has kind not-really-sucked-but been ungood. So, um, yeah. Paid some bills, worked an okay shift. Put 3 films in to be processed; one of which is over a year and a bit old… I really must do better with developing films). Uh hu. So. Yeah. Enough? Good.

I should’ve been working today. I’ve got so much work to do.

But I started watching the second season of Dead Like Me. It’s such a fantastic series, perhaps because of what’s going on in my life at the moment…. It sucks that it’s been cancelled, but a whole bunch of the second season episodes had me in tears today. Whether they’re tears ‘cos the show’s so damn good or tears for my dad I’m not really sure. Not about all of them.

It’s very hard.

Sometimes I’m just numb. And sometimes it hurts so fucking much that all I want to do is curl up and cry.

I feel like I’m running to catch up the whole time, you know? And… sometimes it’s just hard.

It occured to me that I’m prejudice. Not in the racist/classist/educationist sense. I’m really kinda open about that stuff. But about America.

I’ve never been there, all the Americans I’ve met in person I’ve liked, but I still find it really hard to actually be nice about the place. And to admit that something there might be better than here? Gawd no.

So, in the name of personal knowledge I’m gonna try and over come (‘we shall over come’) – you’d think with my girlfriend being half ‘merkian, my good friend Kate – my friend’s Partner being ‘merkian, I’d've got over it by now. But no.

I’m better than I used to be. But it’s harder than you’d think to overcome a lifetime of believing that America is the root of all evil. I do, I’ll admit, find it hard becuase I disagree really strongly with a lot of the culture over there – or at least what I *see* of the culture over there (seems very money orientated, environmentally irresponsible, consumerist and access to healthcare for the poor sucks). And obviously because they keep cancelling the shows I like (Dead Like Me, Wonderfalls), fucking with the ones they keep (The L Word does *not* need a straight fucking bloke), and yet manage to produce endless, endless Simpsons Episodes (it was good, now it just makes me want to scream (3 hours. 3 fucking hours. Almost every day. Bloody Sky) ;-)

Anyway, so I’m gonna try to be nicer and more open minded. And now I’m going to go to uni.

Actually, it’s my DVD drive. All that struggling with my CD-Rs? It’s my DVD drive. My poor little pioneer. Aww. Still, as long as it still does DVDs then we’re okay.

I guess it’s suprising how quickly audio CD-Rs die. My mp3.com ones are sick already, well, I say already, but I guess they’re all about 7 years old. Most irritating though is the CD-Rs of the Albums I own on vinyl. For example Salad’s “Drink Me” – which seems to be uh, somewhat sick.

It’s okay up until track 8, then it all goes down hill. Oddly that’s where a lot of the CD-Rs seem to go downhill. I wonder if it’s my DVD Drive getting sick. It does make some ‘unfortunate’ clunking noises now and then.

Ah well. I’ll try re-ripping it using the CD-RW. Meh.