In which we demonstrate that things are fixed into the ground

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So today was a big day for the deck. Also, we had polar network come around and install our free EV charger. Fun fun fun, really.

It didn’t entirely start positively, though. One of the things I sold on ebay came back. My beloved AE-1 which served me perfectly came back as faulty. And it is, or at least, it seems to have been and I don’t trust it enough to sell it again (quite a lot of fiddling has made it work again, but I think it needs servicing). However, having nipped out to collect that parcel I finally made it to Hart’s Bakery. I’ve wanted to visit Hart’s Bakery since seeing it on Bristol Culture back in December last year. Last time we went shopping we tried to stop there and missed the last loaf of bread by seconds. Seriously, had I parked quicker, we’d’ve had it. And having thought about it some more (and having watched this…)

I decided that I was entirely going to get some bread there. See, normally we get our bread from ‘The Olive Shed’ on Gloucester Road, but they don’t actually bake it there, and though it is very nice, the idea of fresh bread from the baker…well… Nummy.

Anyhow, I knew they opened at 0700 and given the Polar Man was coming to install the free charger at 0900 I reckoned I could nip over, get the package, and get some really fresh bread. As I pootled there I thought…maybe I could get croissants too.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this is a tale that ends in disaster. But no! No, I actually did go and get some bread and some croissants, and y’know what, they were bloody delicious. I could eat the whole damn loaf if you put it in front of me, and the croissants? Like being in France. Yum.

Breakfast done in a most satisfactory way, the Polar Man arrived and started work down in the garage on the new charger. Now originally I’d planned to put the free charger on the side we traditionally park Imey, but I’d rethought that and concluded that, until Imey sports a new charger, there’s little-to-no point faffing around with the charging system. And since I didn’t know if it would get unhappy with the charging doohickey being on a timer, well, then I thought it made more sense to stick it next to the Minor, in the way of I damn well will convert my minor soon, yes kind of positive thinking. So I shuffled Rebecca out and left him to it. And lo:

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Lovely.

Less lovely was the abuse given to our garage’s consumer unit. They changed the RCD for a 20A one, which apparently is required to stop the thing ‘nuisance tripping’. Now I’d managed (with some effort) to get my timer switch in, albeit upside-down, and done so without damaging the box.

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Yeah. That appears to be the work of a Stanley-type-knife hacking an ill-fitting hole in the box. I’ve not looked to see why the RCD is at such a jaunty angle yet, because I fear looking. It took me bloody ages to get the timer switch in and get it all correctly together again. I suspect that he’s not managed to get it to clip in right – or that the dirty great copper bar connecting everything except the timer switch doesn’t fit properly in that RCD. At any rate, it’s not good and I’m a bit unimpressed. My ‘magic’ cable also doesn’t quite work. I suspect I need a better 880 ohm resistor. It does kick in and start the charger, and I can turn it off, but if I switch it from ‘off’ to ‘on’ it doesn’t work. It only works when first plugged in.

Anyhow, you all don’t care about that…Whist he was working down in the garage I proceeded to working on the deck. Before the sun attacked the back porch area. A plan with no flaws…

No really, no flaws.

See a couple of days ago I took off the strange little ‘alignment’ bits of wood I’d used.

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Which meant that today I could move straight on to attaching the beam. Which reminds me, I should take out the little screws I used to hold the beam up whilst I was attaching that first set of bolts. It all went remarkably smoothly really. The posts are indeed beautifully in line, and they’re all vertical (which of course doesn’t look exactly right near anything around our house which is jauntily non-Euclidian in nature). And in the end having carefully lined it up, made the two first holes in one of the centre posts, attached that, and then worked my way from the stairs-end back to the other end making holes and bolting it all together I ended up with something which was horizontal and at the right level. I am stunned.

I immediately flailed about in a horribly unfit woman attempting to use her arms but with no upper body strength to haul herself up onto the bar kind of way, which after sufficient flailing, waving my legs around, and use of the piles of crap surrounding the new posts led to me balancing somewhat precariously on the beam and going “Ha! I’m HIGH”*, much to my amusement**. Now, earlier in the day I’d pondered whether the size of pallet I originally intended to use would fit in Imey. The answer, when I investigated with a tape measure, was a resounding NO. It might be possible to brute-force one in, but I’m not doing that to the poor car. Frankly putting the postcrete in the car was a bit upsetting, the idea of hodging a pallet in where it barely fits doesn’t bear thinking about.

So I messaged Nikki and asked if she could (a) help and (b) whether they’d fit in one of her fleet.

But now I’d reached the end of what I could do on that for the day, which saddened me, but meant I actually got on with other things I should be doing… like, for example, trying to source an 18 volt battery for our circular saw (got a bid on an 18 Volt drill). And more importantly, preparing my little talk for my job interview. My temporary ‘Senior Staff Nurse’ job has finished – and I’ve just applied for a permanent Senior Staff Nurse job – and got an interview for which I have to give a brief talk (5-10 minutes). So I’ve prepped the slides. I also rang and confirmed the interview (I’d left them a message before, but I’m glad I rang because they’d not done anything with the message). I also rang the solar company who got back to me to tell me they’d get back to me on Friday (a marked improvement on previous phonecalls and e-mails which have gone unanswered). Then I e-mailed the insulation people, who are getting back to me with a price, and then… well, then I had a genius idea.

I could just carry the pallets back

I mean, they’re not far away. Not really far. I’m sure I could do that. I could, couldn’t I?

So I nipped around to the industrial estate behind our house, wandered into the first place that seemed to be treating their pallets as scrap and asked. And was very cheerfully informed that I could help myself. So I carried three of them back (one at a time, obviously). I am now sporting some very fetching bruises on my shoulders… Probably on my back too.

But it was worth it.

Inching closer to reality

They’re a bit thinner than the pallets I really wanted to use, so I’m not fixing them in place yet, in case I can find some with chunkier sections. But my intention is to layer a solid layer of stripped-pallet-bits-of-wood across the top anyhow, which should add a goodly quantity of strength. But I got to stand on my ‘deck’ and go ‘wow, it’s quite high up here’. And got to see a bit of what I’m heading for, and y’know what, it was damn good.

So far the costs of the deck have been:

Four pillars – about £12
Postcrete – four bags at £5 each – £20
Dirty great pressure treated Beam – £15
Pre-cut stair riser (could have done with out, but I was feeling lazy) £13 each – £26
Bolts – £10

Of course, we should probably include the cost of the pallet stripping bar, because I’m going to need that to get the wood to make the actual surface of the deck… And possibly to make some ‘special size pallets’ that fill in the gaps… (£45). Anyhow. Not bad so far…

I also need a bunch of deck screws/nails/etc – but that should be the final expense. Well, that and the circular saw battery. Oh and also, I could do with finding the charger for the 12v drill (cost free, if it charges) and possibly some new drill-screw-bits (because I’ve munged most of mine).

I’m quite excited though – it’s beginning to look and feel more like an actual deck!

* Not like that.
** This relates to me being like a child.

KateWE

Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.