I don’t quite know what I’m doing wrong

I think maybe it’s being used to the British approach to planning and building, but I seem to spend much of my time going in circles.

I want roof trusses. This, I would think would not be hard. But it seems that whoever I ask, I need to ask someone else first. Virtually every person has either directed us to a lumber yard (for a lumber package which will apparently include drawings) or an engineer (for drawings, for a lumber package).

However when I call lumber yards, truss manufacturers or engineers they all say no.

They recommend an architect. Which might work. Except one they recommended didn’t answer the phone, and the other will only discuss stuff with plans in front of him.

Which is a fair bit of hassle when he’s 45 minutes away – and closes in 45 minutes. He also won’t give me any idea of whether he will be able to do the plans this week, this month or even this year. Or what a rough idea of costs might be like.

It’s a fracking 38×24 box with a 6/12 roof. If it weren’t for the demand that the drawings were done by an engineer we’d f’kin do it. It would take a few hours, much of which would be spent researching the standards required.

Gah.

So it seems Adams and Rea have disappeared

Which makes me very sad. They were a comedy music duo – and along with their disappearance their songs have disappeared into obscurity.

Since we were at a very nice party on Saturday night at which I was transiently tempted to sing one, I’m going to record the lyrics here for posterity.


Are We Havin’ Fun?

Jane, Michael, Jason,
Sit quiet in the back please,
[Mum]Your dad’s trying to drive,
We don’t want an accident,
[Mum]No we’re not there yet,
I don’t know when,
[But Mum]Give him back his gameboy
I won’t ask you again,
[Mum] We’re here at the camp site,
We’ve put up the tent,
[Mum] But your father has lost both the poles and the pegs,
See I thought [Mum.] he’d packed them,
[Mum] Oh bloody heck,
Yes okay Jane, Hang on, You can go in a sec,

Ohhh, Ohhh, Ohhh, our family holiday,
Are we having fun yet… [No]

[Mum] Boys, stop hitting those ducklings with sticks
[Mum] Jane, let’s find the loo,
Oh god the dog’s just been sick,
[Mum I’ve wee’d in the frizbee!],
That’s all that I need,
And now Jason’s eczema is starting to bleed,
Stay away from those people*
Their dog’s have got rabies,
[Mum, A dingo has taken all my jellybabies]
My head is splitting,
This holiday’s gone sour,
And Jason’s got verrucas from not wearing flip-flops in the shower,

Ohhh, Ohhh, Ohhh, our family holiday,
Are we having fun yet…. [No]

Get in the car kids,
Pack up your stuff,
We’re going home now,
I’ve had enough,
This holiday is shitty,
This camp site’s a farce,
Piss off the lot of you,
Shove your poles up your arse
[Your poles up your arse]

Jason’s inhaling the air from the bed,
Michael’s put a sleeping bag over the dog’s head,
[Mum, Jason won’t stop touching me with his warts!]
Next half-term book me a five-star resort,
I’ve set fire to the tent now I’m starting to crack,
I’ve tied up the children onto the roof rack, [whimpering]
[Mum] The dog’s in the boot,
[Mum] He’s gone cold and stiff,
I’m Thelma and Louise,
Show me the cliff,

Ohhh, Ohhh, Ohhh, our family holiday,
Ohhh, Ohhh, Ohhh, our family holiday,
Was shit.

* the original song uses a term which is now considered offensive by the group referenced.